And the Honeymoon is Over

It’s only a matter of time before the other shoe drops.  Due to acclimation, burnout, or poor motivation, the honeymoon has to end sometime.  In this case, “sometime” is seven days.

But no way, no annulment here.  I don’t give up easy.  Never have and never will.  Ownership is way too important a life skill to just toss out like yesterday’s news.  My kids and I are going to see this one through.

And be all the stronger for it.

Isn’t it true?  We get the Perfect Plan off on the right foot, feel good about the initial success, and then BAM.  The kids expose our weakness:  being human.  And they do so at about the time we parents become preoccupied with more pressing matters or even grow weary of the Great Idea That Will Change Family Life For Good.   So, with well-timed precision, the kids start to slide.  Darn, they are good.

In my February 25, 2014, post “Own It, Work It, Own It” I described our family’s new approach to the school-morning routine and that we were faring pretty well.   However, after a few days (interestingly the Monday morning after several weekdays of success), I found myself starting in with reminders of “what comes next” and eyeing the timer’s count-down.  Reminders.  And more reminders.  And then the predictable change in the treble of my voice and…well.  Shall we say “backslide?”

Fortunately, I had a Plan B ready to put into action.  Clearly, the kids and I were struggling with how the New and Improved Am Routine would play out (me: not nag, the kids: just-do-what-they-knew-they-were-supposed-to-do).  So I decided to put things in writing.  I keep numerous lists as a survival tool, so why not do the same for the kids to help them  navigate the flurry and scurry of before-school mayhem?  Make a list:  it’s just another tool kids can learn to use that will benefit them for life.   And it is supremely gratifying to cross things off that column of “to-do’s.”  It feels good to accomplish something.  And the kids go off to school with an endorphin-kick.

So by the door:

And because the kids take turns giving our dog her breakfast:

The kids often forget to give the dog water so I gave them a little reminder. Especially as when I ask, “Whose turn is it to feed Lucy?” I never mention “water.”

And for my son who drags his feet on school mornings I made a list and taped it to his bedroom wall, reminding him to put on socks  (if he has to go retrieve them after breakfast he gets distracted by his legos, and it requires a highly-trained negotiator to get him out of his room peaceably) and put his dirty clothes in the laundry.

Now all I do, after setting our out-the-door timer, is say to my kids, “Check your list!” and an occasional, “How’s it going this morning?” just to let them know I’m still here for anything they may need to get moving in the right direction.

And I must continue my own effort to move in the proper direction…allowing my kids to take ownership of their time and responsibilities.  This is not easy.  But neither is getting ready in time to catch the school bus.  Just ask my kids!